Living vicariously through myself.

"The human body is incredible"

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"That's so cute I could cry"

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"Ding dong, darling"

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"10 PM seems pretty late"

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"Ya, I could go for a hot dog"

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"Show me the replay"

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"yippee-ki-yay"

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"We can walk, it's not that far"

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"The human body is incredible" -- "That's so cute I could cry" -- "Ding dong, darling" -- "10 PM seems pretty late" -- "Ya, I could go for a hot dog" -- "Show me the replay" -- "yippee-ki-yay" -- "We can walk, it's not that far" --

Everything you need to know about me:

I asked my best friend to pick me up from my colonoscopy with a bridesmaid-esque invitation.

Cruise families are my nightmare.

I wrote a book in third grade called “The Brother’s Empty Hole” and my parents were promptly called.

I always have Yahtzee on me. Always.

Provoking people who talk about crypto is important to me.

I rode the Zamboni at a Red Wings game a little too recently.

My dog and I frequently clothesline each other while running in the park.

LAX is equivalent to an open-mouth cough. I will die on this hill.